oh, its yo.

it almost makes my stomach hurt. its bruised. get this over with already. prolonged, longed, long, so long. this could be about you, or the situation. take it either way. a new feeling. a new… i get this. we pretend, its pretentious, you’re so vague, i can read you. i can tell you this lesson, to go around things in every way but the straight way.  get lost, let something else find you, get to it.  take a left, one more left, go straight, for awhile, go down, take a turn, take anything but the right. that’s too simple. and you’re a bit more complicated.  i’m so simple, aloof, but in all, its frustration.  i can remember at a certain point that i was completely unsure of it.  i still am. why did things get sour?  you take the time to pencil in time, some emotion, some genuine feeling, a good laugh, a needed cry, some ears to hear you out.  did you not see it? i must have missed it. that part where you told me something.  what was it, again? repeat to me the part that i thought i heard you say, no just mention, did you tell me? i think something was beating. no, no. you were saying?

we hope. and we wonder. and we belive. that we have courage, that there is hope.  that there is love, there is love, love. that there is us. there is emotion, it’s so real.  we want it. that life. that love, to believe. it’s real. be courageous. it’s not giving up. you’re not falling short.  just move forward. because we hope for it. we can make it. im missing it all. i wish i was there.  i’m not intrigued.  there is no hope when it comes to this.  so im going to leave it.  it’s simple. so simple.  to remove it, make room, get to the other side.  i can hope.  it will be so so simple.  completely uncomplicated.  i need it.  and this is taking courage. but im still not convinced.  but it will work out. it works itself out somehow.  i usually have doubts.  and this is the normal. we hope and we wonder, but we doubt, not believe. but there is always love.  and us and you.  there is nothing more that you will need. i hope.

i cried. for emotion. for i miss me, don’t quite recognize it.  i would call you. you’d say i did it to myself. and i’d get upset, i would, i would argue it. but i dont.  how do you not see it?  why cant you be on the other end the tin and line?   so simple. but instead im on pure emotion.  im letting that take me. it’s a winding road that i cant follow.  i can feel you crying. when i touch you, it just goes around.  and your beats, they’re not in sync.  remember when you knew me.  when you knew these beats? let me tell you just once more all about them.  they feel neglected.  i need to just go. go go away. just leave it, don’t mind it or me.  im just going to go now.  i’ve been there, i handled it well. and now i must go.  in synchronicity ill get lost.  in a wonder im lost.  will i ever end up there and find it? its just this emotion, once again. 

oh its been long. long long long and i am tired.  theres no thoughts. more like sometimes it comes to the front of the line in my mind, but there is no more room.  i dont know that i will ever finish. or that i will even begin. and i want it to be down the road already.  you know, like in a film, just sometime down the road. and that thing has passed. and i dont know that i care or mind what happens in between.  im putting my trust in me now. and only me. because when looking in, i see it. do you? no, no. i didn’t expect it. its so complicated on the inside. and it’s odd that it looks simple. do you remember when it was easy? not a care, things were simple, love was love, and we did what we wanted with it. we did all we wanted with all of it in our lives.  you have no clue that this is going on. and i enjoy it. because maybe when im feeling tired youre not.  and doesnt it blow your mind that theres too much in the middle of us? just sit with me for awhile. i can see it. its hazy, its foggy. oh, look closer, its there.  and i have to wake up early. but i only want to think of it. 

i lead, and lead, and lead. and don’t follow it. you should know not to listen to a thing i say.  its all make believe just as it has always been.